If I have help can I claim success

It is a really weird dichotomy I have. If I can lose weight, be healthy without any help then I can claim success. If I have help, say its a trainer, or supplements, or fasting, or weight watchers support group, basically anything that is not hard and sacrificial then for some reason the success I do have I fail to claim.

Like, Yes I did lose weight BUT I was on a schedule that almost forced me to the gym because I was dropping someone off at work, was a half mile from the gym and had six hours before my shift. Therefore allowing me uninterrupted time at the gym on a daily basis. (HELLO YOU RETARD, YOU STILL HAD TO GO)

-retard in a completely self loving and respectful manner-

Same with my running the marathons in the last year. Yes I went the 13.1 miles, yes I cut time off my first one, yes I did it alone even though it would have been more “fun” with a friend. But when people ask the first, the very first thing I say is. Oh I didn’t run the whole thing. (HELLO, YOU WENT THE DISTANCE, TAKE SOME FRIGGEN CREDIT)

-yes I am yelling-

I lost 90 pounds by working out and tracking my calories. NINETY. That is a whole person, or 3 toddlers. I am still in smaller clothes than I was in. I am actually currently down 55 pounds from my highest weight ever 8 or 9 years ago. So what do I focus on, the 35 pounds I am up from my lowest adult weight. (It really is sad, how I don’t give myself credit)

I went to a health and wellness seminar the other night and while I was at it decided to buy supplements and a nutrition RESET system. It will basically be five days of balanced nutrition shakes and bars. I also bought vitamin supplements and will start taking those. (My first thought was well I can’t take credit for the success if the RESET works, why because I had help) I know its irrational, and sad that its my first thought.

I’m sure anyone who really knows me is surprised by the vitamins. I do not take anything, I barely take ibuprofen or pain relievers. I also do not use any skin products because I don’t want to absorb all the chemicals into my body. I have always been a “your skin is your largest organ” person and when Sarah said this at the seminar I think I actually listened more because that is exactly my thinking. Besides not taking supplements of any kind, I am also the healthiest person I know (just jinxed myself didn’t I) not having the flu but once in my life, having two colds in the last twenty years, one right on top of the other about 3 years ago when a co-workers kids kept getting them and he brought the germs into the office. I have always contributed that to lots of fruits and veggies, organic everything that I can get. What does this say about the RESET and the supplements.

For today, I am just going to view them as tools. Like dumbbells or my elliptical trainer, for some reason I don’t give away my success to those inanimate objects.

I am excited that my supplements and nutritional RESET package and yes skin care products have shipped. I will let you know how it goes and try and take some credit for my success and more importantly view it as my success. I sure as heck accept the failures as my own.

The products are by USANA and focus on nutrition on a cellular level. If you are interested in them I will get you connected with my friend Sarah. You can find my email on my main blog – V-Lo’s View.

October 9, 2009. Diet, Exercise, Fears, Goals, Healthy Food, Marathon, Venting, Weight Journal, Weight Loss. 1 comment.

June Exercise Totals

Attached is my chart for June. Trying to be cool like my friend Char who does this every month.
I did have one to copy from last November and December. Guess I got serious this time.

Almost 21 hours of exercise for the month.

Date	Activity	Time	Distance	Stretch/ weights	Thoughts

6/1	EFX	30	4 miles	14 min	1% weight loss goal this week. Starting PX90
6/2	Calisthenics	40		10
6/3	EFX	30	4 miles	10
6/4	BTN	30	5.2
6/5	RUN	30	2		On track. Lost count of laps. 2 miles or just under.
6/6	Walk	90	5.6		Two laps around green lake w/Char. Fabulous
6/7	Rest
6/8	Walk	40			Dog Park with Missy. Walked around for 40 minutes.
6/9	EFX	20	1.6		The minimum 20 minutes but I fit it in.
6/10	EFX	30	2.6	25	Feels good fitting in my workouts
6/11	EFX	20	1.75		Minimum 20 min
6/12	Run	35	2		Run/walk on street
6/13	Walk	45	2		Dog park with Katherine and dogs
6/14	Rest				Rest day: 8 hours of yard work
6/15	EFX	20	2		Minimum again
6/16	Run	40	2.2	20 min	Ran the whole thing. THRILLED
6/17	EFX	40	3.33
6/18	Walk	45	2.2		Walked Missy
6/19	EFX	30	2.56
6/20	RUN	35	2.2		Could have done more, had to pee
6/21	Rest
6/22	EFX	45	3.47	15
6/23	RUN	40	2.5		Ran further, added distance on the end. 2.1 miles ran, .4 miles walked
6/24	EFX	30	2.25
6/25	EFX BTN	37 18	3 3
6/26	REST
6/27	WALK/ RUN Walk	4 hours 30 min	13.1 2 miles		½ Marathon & to and from event
6/28	Walk	40	2		Dog Park
6/29	BTN	25	4.2
6/30					Missed Workout
TOTALS		19hours 15 min	80.76 miles	1 hour 34 min.	20 hours 49 minutes

Oh and in my little code, EFX is the elliptical trainer and BTN is the stationary bike (Bike To Nowhere).

July 1, 2009. Exercise, Goals, Marathon, Running, Weight Journal, Weight Loss. 4 comments.

Time

Well I’m done. By the times below from the web site, I only cut 25 minutes from last fall.
This doesn’t take into count the long wait for a porto potty or the about 10 minutes I had to take to stretch out my calf at about mile 10. I pulled my hip early on and then over compensating for that got a cramp in the calf of my other leg. It could have something to do with mild dehydration also.

The morning was tough. Up at 4 a.m. and ate my cereal and soy milk way to early in the day to eat anything. Got down town and parked about 5 a.m. Walked about a mile back to the shuttle pick up and stood in the cool morning and waited for the shuttles and then waited at the other end for over an hour for the race to start and another 37 minutes before I was able to go.

I was pretty stiff and cold by that point. Couldn’t really walk to warm back up because I was in the middle of a pack that were running. I started out to fast and got tired pretty quick. At about mile 2 I was running down a hill and thats were I pulled my hip.

But I kept going. I finished. Here are my times:

Splits: 5 Km 10 Km 9 Mile Finish

Times: 49:02 1:46:41 2:38:57 3:57:22

Pace: 15:47 17:11 17:40 18:07

I didn’t do as well as I had planned, or even as well as I had hoped. But I shaved time off from the last one and I did. I finished it. I may do the one in November again, but I am not signing up right now. Since Char, Leslie and I decided to do the one last year I have been signed up for a marathon for a year and a half except the five weeks after finishing that one and signing up for this one.

June 27, 2009. Exercise, Goals, Marathon, Running. 2 comments.

Cool Gear

Well today I picked up the packet for the race tomorrow. It was exciting and bustling with activity and I was very proud to be going through with this even though it will not be nearly as much fun without Char there this time. There were all kinds of t-shirts, sweatshirts, running pants, shorts, hats, water bottle carriers, GU, all kinds of stuff. I didn’t buy any shirts and will be wearing the free one.

I am glad that the T-shirt is short sleeved as the run wont be as hot, however the start of the race may be cold and if the end is anything like the last one I’ll be wrapping myself up in the mylar blanket.

I certainly hope so because I am carrying very little. I know the last marathon was in November and cold and I wore a fleece (and walked 99.7% as I couldn’t run) but I had pockets for things like lip balm and ID and keys.

What I was looking for I found lots of them. I had been looking for one of these belts because, well I’m tired of trying to figure out what to do with my keys and such when I run and this will come in handy for dog walks even.

In this little belt, that is not supposed to bounce, I have cash, debit card, drivers license, lip balm, keys and my phone. I have decided to take the clip on I-Pod but if I need to put it and the headphones in there they will fit also.

Everyone keeps saying leave the music at home becuse there are bands every mile, but I run better with tunes so I am taking them just in case.

My race number is 22621 and the finish line will be streamed live here.

June 26, 2009. Exercise, Fears, Goals, Marathon, Motivation, Running, Weight Journal, Weight Loss. 1 comment.

Re-Focused

I had a fantastic walk with Char this weekend and was able to talk about my lack of motivation and admit to the bowl of frosting I ate while making a cake last week.

I also admitted that I know what it takes to lose weight. I have done it before. I just clearly haven’t wanted it as bad as say that bowl of frosting or putting working out before gardening, friends, napping, reading or anything.

The thing is the more time I make for working out, the more energy I have for all of the “other” things I put off exercising to do instead.

So we re-committed to ourselfs. My commitment was to lose 2% of my body weight this week, and 1% every week thereafter for 10 weeks which will put me at SO MANY MORE THINGS TO WEAR in my closet by the end of July.

Several days in and I have tracked my food on fit day for the last three days and I have worked out each day.

One of the other things I realized while walking and talked was that I have been so focused on the running, or rather the “attempting to run” that all my other enjoyable workouts I haven’t been doing either. Instead of doing weights or the elliptical trainer or anything else because if I was going to workout it SHOULD be a run. Well I was not getting any workouts on the days I couldn’t bring myself to run. So instead the goal is to just workout everyday. Some of them will be runs but more importantly is to move my every shrinking ass.

Today ended up being a run, and then some core work and stretching. Missy thought since I was on the floor and that is her territory I must need her assistance while stretching.

IMG00143[1] IMG00146[1]

May 27, 2009. Diet, Exercise, Goals, Marathon, Running, Weight Journal, Weight Loss. 1 comment.

and another month down

Yes its been a month since I posted last. phooey.

I decided today when running that I am not getting this distance thing down. I have some sort of a mind/body block. Also I keep to the same routes because I am trying to measure distance.

Well its not working, I am not getting any further.

So I ran for 30 minutes today. I am going to add 5 more to that tomorrow and just work on building time. For some reason pushing myself for 5 more minutes doesn’t seem to have as much of a block as say another quarter mile.

There is barely a month until the 1/2 marathon. I am doubting myself but I don’t even want to elaborate on those thoughts.

So for now I’m working on time.

May 20, 2009. Exercise, Goals, Marathon, Running. 1 comment.

Positive Running

I didn’t quite make my 10 runs in 13 days but I got 8 in. I took all of my running gear to Sacramento with me and brought it all back clean and unused. Even with our best intentions it just doesn’t ever work out (pun intended) which is why I was trying for the 10 runs before I left.

Tonight I was actually afraid to run, not because of the running but I didn’t want to overheat because of this nasty heat rash. But I had to do something so after my yummy salad for dinner I got on the elliptical trainer for 20 minutes. I am very pleased with myself.

One thing that was better on this trip was my food choices. It helped that Chari was trying to make better choices and its always easier to do that with someone else but also I have been doing some positive thinking exercises. Mostly inpired by my support group Char and our daily checking in. She has some great posts here, here and here about positive thinking and how it helps you succeed. Hell all of her posts are mind provoking!

The positive thinking has been helping. Increasingly with my food choices. If I think I make proper food choices, portion size and generally healthy choices. Then I do! It makes it easier to think I choose good healthy fuel to put into my body then my choices follow what my mind is telling me what I already do.

I haven’t found the perfect mantra to repeat, I like Char’s of “I am thin, happy and debt-free” I also have been stressing the healthy choices and like an old mantra I used to say of “I am Fit, Strong and Healthy” so that comes to mind pretty easily.

But I am trying to figure out what I want to Focus on. Healthy Choices and Running for now. So I am also throwing in “I am a runner and fuel my machine with only the best”

So I may not have run in five days but I didn’t gain anything over the weekend and am looking forward to my run tomorrow, even in the rain!

April 21, 2009. Diet, Exercise, Goals, Healthy Food, Marathon, Running, Running Shoes, Weight Journal, Weight Loss. 1 comment.

Doing It!!

Peak is over and work is more manageable. I am going down to see Chari in Sacramento next weekend and since I rarely exercise while with her I am focusing on getting in 10 runs before the 17th.

I volunteered all weekend so there was no running then but Monday and Tuesday both held runs. Monday’s was not great but yesterday’s was much better. I have 8 more runs to fit into the next 10 days. Its doable.

I also need to start getting some other exercise. Its so easy to just focus on the running and trying to improve that the weight lifting, any other cardio, core and stretching take a back burner.

But like I said, I’m doing it!

Stand by for amazing updates and thrilled posts on success’s. I know they are just around the corner!!!

April 8, 2009. Diet, Exercise, Goals, Marathon, Running, Weight Journal, Weight Loss. 1 comment.

Catch up

Just like diet and exercise if you get side tracked in blogging its tough to get back into it.

I have been keeping up with the regular blog and have one entry and two drafts for the gardening blog (although other people are keeping the gardening blog fresh) but I haven’t blogged here in over a month.

You would think that I would be typing that everything has gone off track. Work has been so busy and our peak is winding down so I can re-focus on the running and the tracking food AND the blogging.

Fact is I’m under 200 pounds. I haven’t run near enough but I have run just enough to maintain were I was last month.

I am still planning on running the 1/2 marathon in June and am hoping to be moving to 2nd shift at work so that training will be easier, as will gardening and just basic day to day things. Right now I am still running in the evenings, when I’m off on time so its light out and when its not snowing. Just last Monday it was snowing when I got home and although it wasn’t to much to run in, it was to damn cold.

I am glad to be under 200. It is just under but I am moving in the right direction so that is a good thing. Better slowing going down then up. Right!

March 24, 2009. Diet, Exercise, Marathon, Motivation, Running, Weight Journal, Weight Loss. Leave a comment.

Frustrated

running and running and running
and getting no where

Lately I have had some FANTASTIC runs, mixed in with the ones that I can barely move my feet. I have short legs and my stride is small but when running sometimes it feels more like shuffling then anything else.

Last night if felt like it was the first attempt at running since learning to walk. HA. When on Monday was one of my best runs ever.

It is frustrating and I am trying to not get discouraged. But some days I think I will never build up to 13 miles for the marathon. It doesn’t help to have these “guys” run past me, with large stride and ease in running and it seems as if they are gliding over the pavement and then there’s me with the shuffle shuffle gasp gasp shuffle shuffle.

It doesn’t help that I am still fat, still no loosing weight in measurable way. Some days I feel like I take up less space my clothes are fitting better and I must have lost something but it doesn’t appear that way on the scale.

But I will be running again tonight. Fingers crossed for marked improvement.

February 12, 2009. Diet, Exercise, Fears, Goals, Marathon, Running, Venting, Weight Journal, Weight Loss. Leave a comment.